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Eleven Beliefs That Cause Problems

From Albert Ellis, edited by Kathie Keeler and Tom Johnson

Our behavior is determined by what we believe, whether we are aware of it or not. Anxiety, depression, sadness are all caused by what we believe. Below are listed eleven common beliefs that cause problems. The list is adapted from the work of Albert Ellis , one of the originators of cognitive-behavioral therapy. His pioneering research brought a significant paradigm shift to the world of psychology.

1. I must be loved by everyone.
Actually, everyone doesn’t have to love me, or even like me. I don’t necessarily like everyone I know, so why should everyone else have to like me? I enjoy being liked and loved, but if someone doesn’t like me, that’s OK. I will still feel loved and am OK. I can’t make someone like me anymore than someone can get me to like them. I don’t need everyone’s approval all the time or anyone’s approval all the time. They don’t approve of me: that’s OK. I don’t approve of everyone else either.

2. I must be p…