What I learned from the much maligned Dale Carnegie and from others

Stay positive in relationships with other people and in one’s attitude toward oneself.
Minimize or eliminate all criticism, complaining, and arguments.
When you have to choose between being right and being kind, choose kind (Dyer).
Always admit when you are wrong, biased, and limited in your own view.
When disagreements are important, not over trivial matters, seek for common ground.
Emphasis what you have in common with others and what is praise-worthy.
Take a genuine interest in other people.
Remember and use the other person’s name.
Listen more than you talk.
Encourage people to talk about themselves and their interests.
Treat people with respect and consideration.
Try to see things from the other person’s point of view and empathize with their concerns.
Stay in the interrogative mode: what if . . ., could we . . . how would it work if . . .?
Find a way to win-win, avoiding win-lose (Covey).
Praise every improvement or positive change.
Encourage people as often as you can. Catch people doing well and say so (Blanchard).
Do not ever criticize your spouse or your friends in front of other people.
When there is trouble, ask what is the worst case scenario, and improve on that.
Cooperate with the inevitable; it is what it is.
Stay in the present as much as possible.
Avoid bringing up the past or speculating about the future.
Never seek revenge; leave what you think needs to happen to God.
Be thankful all the time and, as much as possible, for everything.
Have the attitude: how can I help you? See yourself as a servant of others.
Keep an orderly work area, free from distractions.
Prioritize and work on the most important things first. Avoid the tyranny of the urgent.


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